Update on 1/19/2017
The debate has been rescheduled. You can watch here either live or after.
Sadly they did not show but we took some questions.
And here is what my opening statement would have been.
Bernie Sanders debate opening
First off I would like to start this debate by creating two stipulations.
1. I identify as an attack helicopter
2. I use the pronoun “his majesty”.
Please, check your cis-male and white privilege.
On a more serious note, I would like to thank my opponent for debating me and Brian on the merits of Senator Bernie Sandburger of Loonbagia, also known as the Senator who escaped from an insane asylum and has been a lazy bum his whole life.
Since I know progressives love Scandinavia and so does Bernie, I would like to start off by asking a few questions to my opponents.
1. Would you support bringing America business freedom, trade freedom, investment freedom, property rights and financial freedom up to the levels of most if not all of the Scandinavian countries?
2. Do you support abolishing the minimum wage like Scandinavia?
3. Do you support abolishing the inheritance and death tax like Scandinavia?
4. Do you support universal school vouchers like Sweden?
5. Do you support lowering both the effective and marginal corporate tax rates to rates similar to the Scandinavian countries?
6. Do you support taking the poorest Americans to fund your social programs like the Scandinavians do?
7. Do you support becoming poorer like the Scandinavian countries?
8. Do you support more paid parental leave which is associated with a wider gender pay gap?
Now to get on to some actual critiques of Bernie Sanders. To start off worth, I would like to point out the overarching evil of Bernie’s ideas. They are all based on theft and coercion. He either wants to take your money or make you do something. Governments are instituted to protect against violence and coercion. Once they commit more violence and coercion that would exist in the state of nature they become illegitimate.
Now, let me give some brief critiques of different positions Bernie has.
To quote economist Thomas Sowell, “what is your fair share of what someone else earns”? Furthermore, how do you determine a non-arbitrary amount of what someone’s “fair share” is? Lastly, the richer Americans already pay far more than can be reasonably considered their fair share. For example, the top 20% pay almost 70% of federal taxes while only having about half of before-tax incomes.
How compassionate of out opponents to get tens of thousands of workers fired across the nation. The evidence is in, the minimum wage kills jobs. Whenever you put a price floor above market equilibrium then you create a surplus. In this case it would be a surplus of labor which is unemployment.
The jacking off of our opponents to unions will be the best part of this debate but their worshiping of teacher unions which hold the education of Americas youth hostage because teacher unions donate to democrats is disgusting. School choice is supported by both economists and the evidence.
Let me be clear, the evidence that large amounts on inequality are detrimental to developed economies is mixed but even those studies that say it is detrimental say it is because of its effects on public education which can be fixed with school choice. Regardless, again, I would like to ask my opponents what is a non-arbitrary amount of inequality that should be allowed? I will also note that inequality is largely driven by demographic trends.
The United States leads the world in cancer survival. When adjusting life expectancy for fatal injuries, we have the world’s longest life expectancy. We lead the world in medical technology. 70% of the infants born between the 21th and 34th weeks are born in American hospitals. Lastly, a study by Emory economists found that over 70% of households enrolled in Medicaid with at least one person working, the costs of Sanders plan would exceed the benefits.
First off, I would like to ask my opponents this: do you support free college to get degrees in lesbian dance theory? And if not, how do you non-arbitrarily decide which degrees are to be included in your program and which are not? Secondly, the reason college is so expensive is BECAUSE of federal involvement. A NBER study found that, The Federal Student Loan Program cause a 102% tuition increase between 1987 and 2010. Lastly, our opponents must deal with the problem of degree inflation. The reason High School diploma is worthless today is because everyone has one. Once everyone has an undergraduate degree, then the undergraduate degree becomes worthless. It will only be a matter of time before progressives are screaming for free graduate school and universal doctoral programs.
Camping Finance Reform
This is simply unconstitutional and unethical. Freedom of speech is a thing. Before my opponents scream about money not being speech let me ask them this, can the federal government tell the New York Times they can only spend so much money on ink?
One of my biggest problems with Bernie is his clear lack of knowledge. Whenever he is pushed on the issues he simply pivots to his talking points. No better example of this exits than last week’s CNN Town hall where Bernie not only showed he does not understand what insurance is but when a small business owner pressed him of regulations and taxes on small business he completely avoided the question and talks about the 1%.
During this debate, I would like everyone to keep in mind Bernie Sanders is a hypocrite. He earns $205,271 a year, he has three houses, including a lake house, only donates 4% to charity and he does not pay his “fair share”. He has a marginal rate of 28% while paying only 13.5% meaning he took $60,208 in deductions. The average rate for his tax bracket is 15%.
Lastly, I would ask all of you to sign the petition in my bio and it should also be linked below. Bernie needs help. He is functionally retarded and needs to be put back in the insane asylum.